Sunday, 17 November 2013

A Fresh Start - In Scotland!!!

Why Scotland? Well, it wasn't just a random decision.  My parents are from Perthshire but moved down south for my dad's work when I was 7.  Most of our family still live here and I spent every summer and Christmas in Scotland.  I think my parents knew that I would take M back if he stayed in my life (they were probably right) so they suggested I come up to Scotland to finish my maternity leave.

So for the last 6 months I have sulked away in my wee cottage on my own with my son.  It's really not easy being on your own with a baby all day but most of my friends that I knew here have all gone got married and had babies.  I don't know quite how to reconnect.  How do I explain why I am back? With a baby but no husband?  My grandparents have been amazing.  I have aunts/uncles/cousins here but they all have their own lives now. Of course they try. To be fair I have been a right grump.  

Finally I fell ready to move on and plan on staying in Scotland.   I am intending on extending my time off work by 1 year and then look at teaching positions.   In the meantime, I am restarting my baby music classes. I adored holding them and really hope that it will be a way of meeting some new mums.  

And M? He is still furious I have moved away but I always said that I would never stop him seeing his son. He has him for 1 weekend a month and we can increase contact as R gets older.  Seeing R all packed up to go is heart breaking.  But what if I had stayed? M would have cheated again, why wouldn't he? He cheated from day one.  Is is healthy for a child to grow up in a house were his mother never trusts his father? I want my son to see me in a healthy stable relationship, and not grow up thinking you stick with something even if it makes you unhappy,  R  will never remember the horrible break up and for that I am thankful. 

Oh and I almost forgot, M  lives with his bit on the side now.  Good luck to her!!!!!!!!!


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